what. a .year.
it’s crazy to think how fast the years are flying by but even crazier to really look back at all the little details that each one had within it.
this year has by far been one of my craziest. i left what was familiar for what was totally new. lost more people than i can count but gained way more than i ever imagined possible (and some pretty amazing people to say the least). walked through seasons that showed me how much i needed to value the relationships that i had spent so much time building. saw first hand that in order to feel appreciated, i needed to appreciate others first. tried new things and actually really loved them (Jesus hasn’t called us to a safe & boring life). discovered that i need to just chill out and stop overbooking myself, it’s okay to have a clear schedule sometimes. learned how weak i am on my own but how incredibly strong Jesus is through me. cried more tears than i probably should’ve, but also laughed harder than i thought possible. learned the significance of rest and how bad i am at getting it. was really disappointed by other people which led me to see that the only time i can feel safe depending fully on someone is when it is Jesus. recognized that there are so many things i am just not good at but most importantly, that i don’t have to be good at everything. i learned that the striving can cease. that this love i’ve found in Jesus doesn’t ask me to strive for it or try for it, i can just rest in it. i’ve relearned that He knows me, He loves me, and mostly, that He likes me. i struggle hard with that and i always have. it’s not so hard to grasp that im loved, but it’s hard to grasp that i’m liked because that means that i’m chosen even when i don’t feel worthy of that choice. i’ve longed to love and to feel loved, and i’ve found great pain in the rejection of that but mostly great joy in the midst of it. lastly, i’ve learned that i’m an overcomer. whether it’s something minuscule or something huge, i have the ability to overcome. forever thankful i walk this life hand and hand with the One who overcame it all. here’s to 2017, being consistent in my words and actions, falling madly in love with Jesus again, and resting in His joy.
Have it all Jesus.